Ribs_Writes

A t some point, every single man that I have been with has told me that I am unlovable and that I cannot last with anyone. Not for long, at least. There was this one guy back in the day; who told me I was so complicated that I should come with an instruction manual.  Well, noted. I kept it simple. Put everything on the table. What I was bringing and what I expected in lieu. But, that scared most of them away, and the ones who lasted called me names.  Nearly 28 years of existence, and I couldn't decode my way around a man. How does a woman who knows what she's worth, who knows how she should be treated, who's aware of what she brings and what she should take away from the table, unlovable?  I worked hard for this. To be this woman who knows her worth. I thought this was what people loved me for, and believe me, the list is endless. Everyone loves a woman who's confident, self-aware and speaks for herself unless you are romantically involved with her. Every quality that ...

  Sinking in the sea of crisis, human-made, situational or self-induced. We aren't looking for solutions anymore. We aren't wasting time sulking. We are straight-up pushing it all to the deepest, darkest, rarely visited corners of our heads. After all, living in denial still counts for living, contrary to facing the feelings that leave you lifeless. We are eating, drinking, sleeping off or sleeping with the crisis. Pretending to be as unbothered while denying the fact that it burns like a gin and hurts like a bitch. Faking, hoping to make it. Skating through life while the fire within simmers only to erupt when least expected.

  The joy of roaming around in an empty house in a robe with a glass of wine, The comfort of eating your favourite meal in a public space with your AirPods on, The joy of watching a movie and not getting prompted every minute,  The comfort of not having to talk to anyone after a long-long day of work, The subtle joy and comfort in knowing there isn't anyone for you to depend upon. If you shatter into a thousand pieces, no one is going to pick any fraction of it. I am now best friends with the void that scared the shit out of me. Chills run through my body when I spare a mere thought of how comfortable I have gotten in my own company. I don't know what or which particular experience it is that cut right through me. But whatever or whoever did it, they did me a favour. After it all, you are all you got.

  I am a planner. I love planning, but, unfortunately, planning doesn't usually love me back. From the earliest of days, I have had this compulsive need to plan the hell out of my life. Planning is my comfort zone. My biggest pet peeve is not knowing what next. Naturally, I hate bizarre concepts like surprises; they are a series of misarranged and chaotic events. Neither do I understand, nor do I appreciate the thrill of uncertainty.  But being a planner, I understand the importance of making choices. I understand that life is choices. At every step of the way, you're presented with at least one. You can be as cautious as possible, as mindful as you want and as aware as you think, but no level of planning, no length of pros and cons list can ensure that the choice you are making is the right one.  I studied this concept called "Opportunity Cost" in school. By the book definition, it goes - "the loss of other alternatives when one alternative is chosen." Ever...

  I have a friend who once told me about this theory of how we keep befriending or falling for people with identical qualities. It's like a pattern, a subconsciously identified comfort zone that we get lured by.  I gave quite a thought to this, much more than I usually do to something I generally hear. I got really lucky in the friendship department, so falling in the pattern is worth my while. I would happily do it over and over again.  But, when it comes to matters of heart, mmm, not so much! I just realised that the MO of the guys I get involved with is terrifying. (Switched to MO instead of patterns because it's criminal the number of times I have been hurt). It starts with them finding me somewhere on the internet. For the first month, they treat me like I put stars in the sky, pursue me as their world revolves around me, and practically force me to fantasise about a full-fledged life with them. Well, I am no less. My MO is over-sharing, a butt load of honesty, putti...

I recently completed one year of my work life. Like any other fresher, my expectations were also significantly starry-eyed but let me clarify once and for all - Work-life is not as dark as MBA colleges apprise nor as fun as Bollywood puts in the picture. Despite this, it does change and evolve so much in you, the type of people you meet, the challenges you never thought of encountering, making your way through those, and finally earning some recognition for yourself in an organization. The journey is not plain-sailing but promises perpetual growth. For some days, the real struggle will be pushing yourself to get out of bed, while for others, it will be urging yourself to deliver better results. Nonetheless, both are equally important. Regardless of the job, not taking days off to support your mental health will harm you in ways that you may not see in an instant, but you will regret it in long run. I have been living the 9 to 5 life for a year now, and I don't think it's bad a...

We as a generation are a set of people who are usually confused, terrified, uncertain, over-optimistic/pessimistic, trying to have it all, commitment-phobic because of lack of worthy examples to look up to, or because our relationships perished sooner than a glass of milk.  I have said it before, and I'll say it again! We do not express gratitude enough. We do not appreciate the little things in life. We are too busy working towards and looking at the bigger picture that we miss out on the comfort and beauty of reality.  The pandemic has taken too much from us already, our loved ones, our normal lives, and our will to socialise. It's high time we start acknowledging the things that we generally do not give enough credence to. It's due time we start smiling at the simple joys, as the big ones aren't happening like they used to.  Appreciate the ones who even make a faint attempt at reaching out to you from their equally busy schedule. Do not hesitate in reaching out to pe...

  I wrote an article more than 2 years ago describing the feelings you go through at the beginning of new love. The tingly feeling, the curiosity, the butterflies, the element of surprise, the rush, all of it! Well, that did not take a long time to go down the drain.   I have talked enough about what I went through after that. What I never felt like pondering upon is how long it will take me to get all the possible toxicity out of my system.  I thought the efforts I was putting in on myself were more than enough. I was super kind to myself. I gave abundant time to process my thoughts. I ensured to not jump to anything too quickly. I worked on my baggage before I even considered starting anything new.  And I supposed I was doing okay. I was looking forward to starting a new phase in my life. I won't say I was trying, but I wouldn't mind if the opportunity presented itself.  The opportunity did present itself, and I couldn't be happier that it did. What follo...

It is that time of the year when there is a new enthusiasm, new hopes, new promises in the air. I am very realistic when it comes to New Year Resolutions because why make promises you cannot keep. But one promise I consistently resolve every year is taking care of myself in whatever way I can, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  Last year, I did not stay true to this as much as I should have. I let the negativity take over, and I am not entirely taking the blame because 2021 was one hell of a nightmare. I mean, what was even left to witness.  My overthinking shot up 10x in 2021, jumping to the worst possible conclusion became a matter of course, and simping on things I have absolutely no control over was what I spent probably a quarter of my year on.  In the thick of it all, I did gather some wisdom. As a person who overthinks, practically whatever there is to think, I realised that you create issues in your head that does not really exist. I am sorry, but yo...

2021 - A year we had unrealistically high hopes from, and why even not? What we went through in 2020 wasn't something conventional. But sadly, 2021 didn't align exactly with our expectations. There was just too much loss to deal with, loss of lives, loss of sanity, loss of hope.  The first half of the year was incredibly tough on me. And I won't say the second half of it was easy, but since the first half didn't exactly kill me, it did make me stronger. Apart from the loss, there were also a lot of changes to endure this year. And for a person constantly struggling with anxiety, it is hard to welcome change, be it a good or a bad change. It anyway takes me a substantial amount of time to adjust to the situation firsthand. So, it's just impossible to make mellow with anything that happens out of the ordinary.  In 2021, we were not only carrying the heavy as hell baggage from 2020, but we also had to go back to our pre-covid lives, the lives we were initially so eager...

Ever since I can remember, the motto of my life has consistently been not to take anyone's crap. In whatever I do, howsoever I do, this has been my process all along. While growing up, I have seen a lot of abuse around the world, physical, emotional, verbal, all. And I would think to myself, why would people put up with something like that? What could be a compulsion that drives you to such a point?  I would pledge to myself that I'll never let someone put me through something like that because what could possibly be more important than self-respect. But I did. Time and again, I let people put me through the worse than I had witnessed. It was astonishing for me to spectate the kind of control you, let people have over you like you stop being in charge and give the command of your life to someone else. It's like falling in a black hole making out of which alive seems preposterous. I have been such a giver all my life, the situation no bar that at a point I literally gave up ...

I came across this very Instagram-y quote years ago. It said - the people who break you are not the ones putting you back together. The forgive and forget in me was personally outraged by this. The number of times I have let people back in my life who did not deserve to is honestly offensive to a person with even a tiny fragment of self-respect.   But I was always of the view that there are certain decisions you make When you are furious at things, When you cannot see the light, When you are not high on hope, When there is nothing left to fight for,  When all you end up with is nothing but a few shattered pieces of your heart. However, in the above-listed situations, your ability to think clearly is compromised. Given some time, you clear your head and try reconsidering your decisions. Honestly, there’s no harm in doing that. Anyway, who wants to lose on the best things in life because of some moments of hot-temper. Times changed, trauma heightened up, I wisened up and ev...

In a world where voicing your opinions is still distasteful, I am here expressing them as often as I can. I am definitely NOT A WOMAN OF A FEW WORDS! Believe it or not, I am a woman of A LOT of words, all the words I know to be fair!  Communication is the key, lock, room, premise, as a matter of fact, an entire universe for me. From all my little life experiences to the situations I’ve been stuck in, communication has always been my way out. And for the ones I could not find a way out, I choose to believe that effective communication would have changed that.  We are out here, trying to thrive in the world that finds opinions offensive and standing up for yourself disrespectful. But you still gotta put it on the table. As long as you are not going all out, loud, clear and precise about what you freaking think and what you freaking want, how do you even expect people to give that to you or stop giving it to you! You are hurting, you speak; you are sad, you share; you are worried...

I got my heart broken a couple of years ago. A dozen traumatic experiences followed right after, but one thing that I am now really thankful for is the shift in my perception.  I started observing love closely because I knew what I experienced wasn't love. And I had to see how I had mistaken it for love.  I also knew that I wanted to settle because it may be for a brief moment, but the feeling of knowing that this is it, this is where you stop looking, is divine.  I cannot reiterate this enough that love is too beautiful a feeling to give up on. And I am being so confident because of what I have observed with people over the years. I still don't know what love is, but isn't it's just priceless to witness what love brings out of people, the miles it makes them go, the unbelievable things it makes them do, the peace and calm it brings them?  And yet, I fail to gather the strength to put myself in a position like that again. I refuse to play the games; I refuse to fall ...

I am at a place in life where things are moving fast, not for me, but for the people around me.  My life is pretty routine. It's like living the same day over and over again. No excitement, no surprises, no drama, no trauma. I am not proud, but I have gotten so comfortable in this sad little routine that I now call my life that it takes me a substantial amount of time to assimilate if something out of the ordinary happens.  I am all for, you do you, and you do you at your own pace. But it's hard to do you when everyone else around has moved on to bigger things and bigger problems, while you're just sitting there clueless, trying to relate, somehow just trying to find the right words to say the right thing.  I know it happens when it happens, I know it all, but I still think that it royally sucks that I am not at par with the people I shared every part of my life.  I mean, I still sometimes have petty problems. I am still struggling with things that I used to. Though,...

I was always meant to do big things; I knew it in my heart. Everyone who knows me knew it. I was a studious kid all my life. And it wasn't like I was just book-smart; I was life-smart too. So the bar for me was raised higher than required, followed by a buttload of expectations. Sadly, I haven't made it big yet, and from how it's going, I don't know if I ever will. Plus, the expectations gradually shifting to disappointments don't help much. It's not very pleasant to go through this feeling; it is another level of existential crisis altogether. When people used to ask me what do I want to be, where do I see myself? I would say, "I'll be a CEO, nothing less; more is always welcome," and this wasn't too long ago. And now, I don't think I know what is my calling yet. Is what I am doing right now my true calling? Maybe a part of it is. Everyone kept telling me over the years that you'll know when you'll be good at it. Not to blow your o...

People often say, "your circle gets smaller with age". I neither understood nor ever believed in it because why? Isn't it's supposed to be the opposite? You grow up, move universities, move cities, move jobs, more moving, more people and more potential friends, right? And it was all going right for me, but then Covid happened. The world and the moving paused for a long while. It affected us in ways we had never imagined in our wildest of dreams. Lives changed, lifestyles changed, priorities changed, factors affecting our decisions changed, we changed. Covid not only took many a life but also took away our zeal to be alive, our zest to connect, and our spirit to stay in touch. It was all fine at the start, but eventually, it got so dark and gloomy that even these social media apps couldn't keep the social in us alive. I was a super-social being. Social to the point that it was annoying. 70% of my day pre-covid constituted of hanging out with friends, catching up wi...

  One thing I will always hate about judgements and misjudgements is that there will be a few of them that will invariably have power over you, will rip your heart out time and again, and will make you question just about everything. You can preach all about growing up, moving on, having your life together, rising over the bullshit and yet you will give in.  I am sure we have all been there, I have been there, I am still there, I am somehow always there, living with it!  It makes me feel sick to the bone when I realise that all of our insecurities and fears originate from where we are supposed to feel most loved, secure and appreciated. The worst of it does not come from the outsiders. It comes from our own family, people who are close to us, people who are capable to sway us through their judgements and opinions. Why do we always fall short of things? Why nothing is enough? Why having a good heart isn’t enough, or why loving someone isn’t enough, or why trying your best ...

Amid a 100 lies that the school told us, there was one truth. We were often told that life is not easy when you get out of this place. And it wasn't, be it the cut-offs, the moving out of home, or the struggle of not feeling belonged. It didn't stop there. Our college professors again proclaimed that life is not easy when you get out of this place, and again, it wasn't. Be it choosing between a job, or higher studies, or your dreams, or realising your current skill set isn't enough to pay your bills or watching people win the race you are participating in too. I am not even getting started on how it goes up the ante when you become a working professional. It is like we are all a part of a universe-sized video game where difficulty level raises with each passing stage. But unlike three lives, we get numerous chances to fail and rise here. It never gets easier though. You just wipe the slate clean, learn your past lesson good and eventually find your way. It's a long ...