POST-COVID FRIENDSHIPS

People often say, "your circle gets smaller with age". I neither understood nor ever believed in it because why? Isn't it's supposed to be the opposite? You grow up, move universities, move cities, move jobs, more moving, more people and more potential friends, right? And it was all going right for me, but then Covid happened. The world and the moving paused for a long while. It affected us in ways we had never imagined in our wildest of dreams. Lives changed, lifestyles changed, priorities changed, factors affecting our decisions changed, we changed.

Covid not only took many a life but also took away our zeal to be alive, our zest to connect, and our spirit to stay in touch. It was all fine at the start, but eventually, it got so dark and gloomy that even these social media apps couldn't keep the social in us alive. I was a super-social being. Social to the point that it was annoying. 70% of my day pre-covid constituted of hanging out with friends, catching up with the ones far away, and checking up on the ones going through a rough phase. I never cared if I was the only one driving a friendship because it's friendship. It's supposed to be easy. And now, I have to schedule calls with the very few friends I am left with one week in advance. Which I am not going to lie, I dread taking until I actually start talking to them.

I didn't exactly stop checking up on people, but I had to take a break. And I think everyone else had to too, and so my circle shrank. Another reason for that to happen was an olden saying, "out of sight, out of mind." As I mentioned earlier, factors affecting our decisions changed. I made certain decisions that drove me out of sight from 90% of my friends, leaving me out of their minds too. I don't think friends ever stopped loving each other, but everyone is so drained, exhausted and out of energy that keeping in touch, which was previously a leisurely activity now, seems like a real pain in the ass. I hope we do not get accustomed to this, and may our circles never shrink.

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What makes a woman unlovable?

A t some point, every single man that I have been with has told me that I am unlovable and that I cannot last with anyone. Not for long, at least. There was this one guy back in the day; who told me I was so complicated that I should come with an instruction manual. Well, noted. I kept it simple. Put everything on the table. What I was bringing and what I expected in lieu. But, that scared most of them away, and the ones who lasted called me names. Nearly 28 years of existence, and I couldn't decode my way around a man. How does a woman who knows what she's worth, who knows how she should be treated, who's aware of what she brings and what she should take away from the table, unlovable? I worked hard for this. To be this woman who knows her worth. I thought this was what people loved me for, and believe me, the list is endless. Everyone loves a woman who's confident, self-aware and speaks for herself unless you are romantically involved with her. Every quality that ...

SHE’S THERE! Exactly where she should be - IN HER LANE . Doing exactly what she’s supposed to do - STAYING FOCUSED . Doing exactly the way she should be - UNBOTHERED . FLOURISHING into a woman she has always dreamt of and worked earnestly for. But on her way of progress, she comes across a few hurdles. Hurdles in the form of people, things, situations. These hurdles have a sole motive of slowing down the pace of her progress. She finds passing these hurdles tough at times since everyone has their highs and lows nonetheless, the fighter in her makes her realize that she’s F abulous, her E nergy cannot be matched and her A ura is infectious. She’s the source of positivity and inspiration to many. She just has to keep up with this one effortless job of being HERSELF with her head held high and nothing or no one can stop her from being on the top.

Ah! The incomparable joy and comfort in the lonliness

The joy of roaming around in an empty house in a robe with a glass of wine, The comfort of eating your favourite meal in a public space with your AirPods on, The joy of watching a movie and not getting prompted every minute, The comfort of not having to talk to anyone after a long-long day of work, The subtle joy and comfort in knowing there isn't anyone for you to depend upon. If you shatter into a thousand pieces, no one is going to pick any fraction of it. I am now best friends with the void that scared the shit out of me. Chills run through my body when I spare a mere thought of how comfortable I have gotten in my own company. I don't know what or which particular experience it is that cut right through me. But whatever or whoever did it, they did me a favour. After it all, you are all you got.

Ribs_Writes

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