Jack of Crisis, Masters of Denial

Sinking in the sea of crisis, human-made, situational or self-induced. We aren't looking for solutions anymore. We aren't wasting time sulking. We are straight-up pushing it all to the deepest, darkest, rarely visited corners of our heads. After all, living in denial still counts for living, contrary to facing the feelings that leave you lifeless. We are eating, drinking, sleeping off or sleeping with the crisis. Pretending to be as unbothered while denying the fact that it burns like a gin and hurts like a bitch. Faking, hoping to make it. Skating through life while the fire within simmers only to erupt when least expected.

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What makes a woman unlovable?

A t some point, every single man that I have been with has told me that I am unlovable and that I cannot last with anyone. Not for long, at least. There was this one guy back in the day; who told me I was so complicated that I should come with an instruction manual. Well, noted. I kept it simple. Put everything on the table. What I was bringing and what I expected in lieu. But, that scared most of them away, and the ones who lasted called me names. Nearly 28 years of existence, and I couldn't decode my way around a man. How does a woman who knows what she's worth, who knows how she should be treated, who's aware of what she brings and what she should take away from the table, unlovable? I worked hard for this. To be this woman who knows her worth. I thought this was what people loved me for, and believe me, the list is endless. Everyone loves a woman who's confident, self-aware and speaks for herself unless you are romantically involved with her. Every quality that ...

Life, Choices and The Opportunity Cost

I am a planner. I love planning, but, unfortunately, planning doesn't usually love me back. From the earliest of days, I have had this compulsive need to plan the hell out of my life. Planning is my comfort zone. My biggest pet peeve is not knowing what next. Naturally, I hate bizarre concepts like surprises; they are a series of misarranged and chaotic events. Neither do I understand, nor do I appreciate the thrill of uncertainty. But being a planner, I understand the importance of making choices. I understand that life is choices. At every step of the way, you're presented with at least one. You can be as cautious as possible, as mindful as you want and as aware as you think, but no level of planning, no length of pros and cons list can ensure that the choice you are making is the right one. I studied this concept called "Opportunity Cost" in school. By the book definition, it goes - "the loss of other alternatives when one alternative is chosen." Ever...

Am I a writer by choice or my disappointments make me one? I was a super active kid in school, I would dance, sing, act, speak, debate, recite, lead teams, get the best grades but I would write only for the hand-writing competitions. In college, there was hardly any event that I was not a part of. But I was always on the set, managing stuff, running around the college campus to get things done. I never thought I could write. I would dump the content-related work on other team members. Duh, I wasn’t even considered to be the who’s going to write. Over the years, life became challenging, relationships started failing, loved ones started drifting away, life choices weren’t as simple as they used to be, and every action had a higher intensity reaction. Even after being a social butterfly, I couldn’t find people who would listen to me without any judgments hence, being a solution-oriented person, I started to vent out on a piece of paper. Because I just had to vent out, I never used to...

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