Ribs_Writes

Men in my life! Well, I do not touch topics like these because apparently, they are too touchy. But here I am today, as now I have officially run out of patience, reached my threshold, reasons to let it go, and saturated my ability to ignore.  I don't know if its an Indian thing or just a thing in general but, THE MEN IN MY LIFE have this uncontrollable desire to control me, cage me, put a leash in my neck and walk me like a pet, treat me like a puppet, and tell me what to do what not to do.  And the cutest little thing is they have the audacity to do this in the name of being possessive, caring and protective. I am not just talking about romantic relationships here. When I say men in my life, I mean ALL OF THEM.  Since the very beginning, I have never been the one to shy away from speaking my mind. I do what I think is right for me and in the way that suits me. That doesn't mean I do not think about the consequences or outcome of my actions. I am well-aware and super min...

  It gets better!  You'll get used to it.  That is what everyone keeps saying all the time for every bloody thing, right. But does it? Does it ever get better?  Well, I don't think it does. I have never seen it getting better. We do get used to it but is that the point. It is like a circuit that keeps getting miserable and miserable!  I don't want to be ungrateful for the okayish things that life has given me. But lately, the bad is outweighing the good. I keep waiting for it to get better, waking up every day with a teensy hope that this day is going to be different, this week will be the change, but it just keeps getting worse.  For the longest time, I held myself responsible for many things that go wrong in my life because I have had this pining itch to fix things. In fixing things that were out of my control, I have arrived at a point where I NEED FIXING.  And I think I know where to start that from, but I am too scared to do that because everythin...

 

There are always gonna be days when you'll have a lot to say, yet you won't be able to find the right set of words. There are always gonna be days when you'll feel too much, yet you won’t find a way to release all your emotions. There are always gonna be days when you'll have everything, yet you won't feel fulfilled.  There are always gonna be days when you'll feel empty, yet you won't find anything to fill in the void.  Some things will stop making sense, while others will start making a lot of it. Either way, both will add to intensifying the void you feel. You'll have everyone around, and yet you'll find yourself standing all alone in the storm. It will be fatiguing for you to relate to this world. You are just like this person who has lost the way back home, someone who can't see the light. You'll feel like crying for help, looking for someone who can take you out of this darkness you're stuck in.  You'll look around and you won...

Do you ever pause for a while and thank the universe for all those times it saved you from the things/people you thought you cannot live in the absence of but you actually ended up living pretty well without? When you look back at things from a fresh and unbiased perspective now, I am sure you realise these were truly the reasons for making your life miserable. All I have ever heard is not to GIVE UP! Be unstoppable, never stop trying, you can fix your own environment, have a winning mindset, and so I did. But, little did I understand, can you win over something that's not yours to win, can you fix something that's not yours to fix? All you have to win over are your battles, all you have to fix is your own goddamn self. It is not on you to mend everything and everyone's life. Crisis management is not your full-time job. Stop taking it that seriously. When everyone was busy preaching not to give up, I wonder why I didn't leave sooner? I wish someone told us that there ...

Do you ever miss some older version of yourself for any reason? Well, I do! I sometimes miss the things that made me, ME! I miss being an extrovert, I miss fearlessly telling people how I felt, I miss being impulsive, I miss my being "up for anything" approach, I miss my devil may care attitude, I miss saying "you only live once" before every crazy thing I was going to do, and I do miss being there for everyone all the time. And yet, I don't miss being super-nice to self-serving selves, I don't miss being walked all over, again and again, I don't miss getting my heart crushed, I don't miss being taken for granted, I don't miss people commenting on how I should be, how I should act, what to do, what not to do. Yes, I did lose a part of myself in the process. And it was not an easy process to go through with. It took me over a year to finally start admitting to the changes I was going through, knowingly/unknowingly. There was a lot of resistance, ...

 Do you fall in love with People? Moments? Gestures? Words? Actions? So, my dating history has been quite a blow but every time I’m involved with someone, I feel like this is it, he is the one. I believe I am finding the missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, enduring new feelings, being in my own world, but of course, not alone for a change.  Him doing basic AF shit feels extraordinary, his teeny-tiny efforts seem like a great deal, sloppy scraps of respect, trust, and equality fancy as a luxury to me. Not only do I stop here, but also I start compromising at each step, calm my own insecurities that should ideally be done by my partner, suppress what my instincts tell me and overlook all the signs which should be held critically.  Maybe because I have not heeded a little of what people around me experience in love, and that's why I end up setting the bar so low.  However, it may vary what/who I fall in love with - people, moments, gestures, words, or actions but one thi...