Guess some things never change after all, huh ;)

Do you ever miss some older version of yourself for any reason?

Well, I do! I sometimes miss the things that made me, ME!

I miss being an extrovert, I miss fearlessly telling people how I felt, I miss being impulsive, I miss my being "up for anything" approach, I miss my devil may care attitude, I miss saying "you only live once" before every crazy thing I was going to do, and I do miss being there for everyone all the time.

And yet, I don't miss being super-nice to self-serving selves, I don't miss being walked all over, again and again, I don't miss getting my heart crushed, I don't miss being taken for granted, I don't miss people commenting on how I should be, how I should act, what to do, what not to do.

Yes, I did lose a part of myself in the process. And it was not an easy process to go through with. It took me over a year to finally start admitting to the changes I was going through, knowingly/unknowingly. There was a lot of resistance, ignorance, and despair. There was also a fear of losing things/people that aren't important in the first place. But now I am finally at a place in life where I am not only accepting but also relishing and embracing the changes that I went through.

I give limited access to limited people in my life now. I did revoke a lot of privileges I had distributed among what now seems like a whole freaking town. At some point in life, you really gotta go all exclusive and you will not apprehend the purpose of doing that until you do that. Not to be revenge-y or anything but, now if you walk over me, I'll walk over you too, in really high and pointed shoes. I don't do drama anymore, I'll just emotionally distance myself from you and you won't even notice that I am gone, even if you do, the devil may care because I won't.

Guess some things never change after all, huh ;)

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