Ribs_Writes

There are always gonna be days when you'll have a lot to say, yet you won't be able to find the right set of words. There are always gonna be days when you'll feel too much, yet you won’t find a way to release all your emotions. There are always gonna be days when you'll have everything, yet you won't feel fulfilled.  There are always gonna be days when you'll feel empty, yet you won't find anything to fill in the void.  Some things will stop making sense, while others will start making a lot of it. Either way, both will add to intensifying the void you feel. You'll have everyone around, and yet you'll find yourself standing all alone in the storm. It will be fatiguing for you to relate to this world. You are just like this person who has lost the way back home, someone who can't see the light. You'll feel like crying for help, looking for someone who can take you out of this darkness you're stuck in.  You'll look around and you won...

Do you ever pause for a while and thank the universe for all those times it saved you from the things/people you thought you cannot live in the absence of but you actually ended up living pretty well without? When you look back at things from a fresh and unbiased perspective now, I am sure you realise these were truly the reasons for making your life miserable. All I have ever heard is not to GIVE UP! Be unstoppable, never stop trying, you can fix your own environment, have a winning mindset, and so I did. But, little did I understand, can you win over something that's not yours to win, can you fix something that's not yours to fix? All you have to win over are your battles, all you have to fix is your own goddamn self. It is not on you to mend everything and everyone's life. Crisis management is not your full-time job. Stop taking it that seriously. When everyone was busy preaching not to give up, I wonder why I didn't leave sooner? I wish someone told us that there ...

Do you ever miss some older version of yourself for any reason? Well, I do! I sometimes miss the things that made me, ME! I miss being an extrovert, I miss fearlessly telling people how I felt, I miss being impulsive, I miss my being "up for anything" approach, I miss my devil may care attitude, I miss saying "you only live once" before every crazy thing I was going to do, and I do miss being there for everyone all the time. And yet, I don't miss being super-nice to self-serving selves, I don't miss being walked all over, again and again, I don't miss getting my heart crushed, I don't miss being taken for granted, I don't miss people commenting on how I should be, how I should act, what to do, what not to do. Yes, I did lose a part of myself in the process. And it was not an easy process to go through with. It took me over a year to finally start admitting to the changes I was going through, knowingly/unknowingly. There was a lot of resistance, ...

 Do you fall in love with People? Moments? Gestures? Words? Actions? So, my dating history has been quite a blow but every time I’m involved with someone, I feel like this is it, he is the one. I believe I am finding the missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, enduring new feelings, being in my own world, but of course, not alone for a change.  Him doing basic AF shit feels extraordinary, his teeny-tiny efforts seem like a great deal, sloppy scraps of respect, trust, and equality fancy as a luxury to me. Not only do I stop here, but also I start compromising at each step, calm my own insecurities that should ideally be done by my partner, suppress what my instincts tell me and overlook all the signs which should be held critically.  Maybe because I have not heeded a little of what people around me experience in love, and that's why I end up setting the bar so low.  However, it may vary what/who I fall in love with - people, moments, gestures, words, or actions but one thi...

Every now and then something goes wrong in my life and I tend to believe that this is the worst it could ever get. While obsessing over my current situation, I usually recall every possible thing that has made me cry, broken me or, made me want to end my life at some point. It is like a string of thoughts, leading to one another and suddenly, all those apprehensions you buried somewhere deep in your heart and decided never to revisit are right there, back to haunt you. No matter how painful this entire process may get, one thing that remains consistent during all of this is that whenever shit goes down, I presume nothing could be graver than this but I always end up declared wrong and something even worse follows. All I do to bounce back other than cribbing about the situation (of course) is that I somehow gather all my strength to put up a fight, maybe half-heartedly, but I do. I grow out of it eventually and prepare myself for the next worst thing to happen, wondering and agreeing to...

How badly I wish to indulge in something I see people around me in, how I wish I could get loved the way I see others getting loved, how hard could it be to believe that certain things take time or may actually never happen, how despairing is it to live with rejections, how arduous is it to change thyself when I know that the personality and aura I hold is really hard to love. But how do I even try changing when I am so crazily in love with the chemistry I have with myself. How do I trust this crazy go-round world which constantly tells me to be everything but me? How do I cage my racing heart which tells me to love what I have right now, be mad and wild, and be whatever I can be while I still have this little life? You either become what you decide for yourself or you follow what others decide or expect out of you. The break in the cloud is it’s you who gets to make a choice. Whatever you do, whatever you say doesn’t always have to be conventional. Life might be testing you but you do...

I recently read somewhere, "what if we are eternally supposed to be sad, momentarily happy." It took me a minute to process this, my world nearly paused for a while. Do we ever think about when we were happy? When was the last time I was actually happy?  No, not I am on the trip happy, or I just got a new dress happy, or I had my favorite meal happy. Just happy, happy when something out of the ordinary was not happening. To my surprise, I couldn't recall anything like that in years. I thought I was doing fine, but turns out I wasn't. When all I have always wished for is happiness, it was pretty ironic that I wasn't feeling any of it in my recent present.  I don't know when life became so hard that little things that stir up your life, started slipping away. When did the sadness became eternal and happiness became volatile? When did we go from devil-may-care to adulting so hard that it left us anesthetized? When did we go from being supremely optimistic to clin...