Ribs_Writes

One not so fine afternoon while sitting on my desk, sipping my extra strong black coffee I happen to think of how long I have been fighting this world all alone, I have never had anyone to walk by my side, I have never had someone to hold me when I would fall. I always had to gather myself, get up and start walking on my own, get going all over again keeping my fingers crossed anticipating it will all work out one day. I was all I got which pretty much makes me the person I am turning out to be. Someone who doesn’t welcome even a minor favor, someone who gets uncomfortable at the mere thought of asking for help, someone who doesn’t trust easily, someone who is always looking for red flags, someone who can’t keep her guard down, someone who is terrified of her own occasional phases of vulnerability, someone who is afraid by the idea of coming out weak in front of a crowd, someone who is always struggling with emotions, someone who can’t let it all out! Trust me or not, I want to let it ...

Do you ever try to find out what calms your soul? Do you ever question yourself that you’ve got everything you wished for, you got a life you dreamt of but what is it that’s still missing? We do not have an end to our desires, we wish for something, get it,  want more of it without ever being thankful for what we already have.  I feel we do not thank enough, we do not count our blessings enough.  We are so deep into the shackles of the society we live in and the lives we have chosen for ourselves that we often forget to take a break, breathe, and look at the bright side (I am sure there’s always a bright side). One doesn’t have to stop being ambitious in order to be humble but the need to understand which desire is guiding you to growth needs to be recognized. The soul stays calm when you understand what you have is not what everyone has, what you have is what you wished for, prayed for, worked hard for. Don’t let it go! It isn’t worth letting go! I know it’s really onero...

  No matter what anyone tells you, No matter how hard you try, No matter you give your all to it, But there will still be days when you won’t be able to contain it, things will come crashing down, you’ll fall apart, you won’t know where to go, who to go to. Things you’ve left behind, things you’ve been trying to get over will come back and haunt you. That my friend! Right there! That’s when I want you to wait, that is where I want you to stay put, that’s when I need you to be patient. And when you’ve accomplished that, that’s when I need you to let it go, step by step, one day at a time. Cause as long as you don’t start letting it go, how are you going to make room for new things? I am sure you have the biggest heart, but when all of it is full of pain, how are you going to make space for love?

  He wanted to grow old with me I wanted to grow young and alive with him He wanted to stay home with me I wanted to travel the world with him He wanted me to be rational all the time  I wanted to do every possible crazy shit with him He would never let me in I wanted to spend every millisecond with him He cared for me too much to expose me to the world I wanted to face everything this world had to offer with him He loved me enough to have me around But I loved him way too much to overlook all his flaws He said love isn’t enough I said we can conquer the world when we have got each other He said I wasn’t worth it I said I’m ready to let go anything for us to stay together He said I was a mistake I said he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me That is when I realized, I was ready to walk miles and swim oceans for him while he was not even ready to move an inch for me :)

I always wanted to shine for you, Too bad you were the one to dull my sparkle. I always wanted to talk you out of all your problems, Too bad you thought I talk a lot. I always wanted to stand by your side, Too bad you thought I should be following you. I always wrote poems and prose for you, Too bad you thought my words are pretentious. I always loved you with all my heart, Too bad you thought I am too full of self-love to love you, my love.

Two people will never be compatible enough if they constantly feel threatened by each other’s actions , be it personal or professional . And I feel it’s high time when we start addressing the fact that for two people to work things out between them, there has to be acceptance.  Acceptance of the fact that none of them is going to let go of what they already have. It has taken them years to build for themselves, to finally carve into what they’ve always dreamt of.  Everyone works half their life to reach where they really want to be and what is beyond my understanding is why to let go of a major part of what you are, who you are,  in order to fit in the new arrangements?  Making little adjustments here and there is a part of our routine but why do we expect our partners to make sacrifices?  Why are we so threatened by the opinions and choices our partners are willing to make in order to grow? Love isn’t the end of the world; we don’t need to stop growing because...

When I parted ways with him and I was trying to recover, to heal, to get back to being who I was, to accept that he isn’t there anymore, for months I told my friends and myself as well that I know all the possible rational explanations to this not ending well, I know things would’ve never worked out, I know it wasn’t meant to be, I am a girl who never works without logic and I know this wasn’t logical at all, I know love brings out a completely different side of me but I also know that it would have never lasted.  What actually was in my head was a screaming voice constantly questioning everyone and everything, whyyyyyyyyy? What I actually felt was pain, sometimes so intense that I could physically feel it hurting me. I couldn’t be myself, I felt so helpless and so weak that I didn’t even have the energy to ask for the aid. What I actually wanted was to find a way so that all of it can be undone and I could just run back to him, to my love. I would go over the good times and the b...