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One not so fine afternoon while sitting on my desk, sipping my extra strong black coffee I happen to think of how long I have been fighting this world all alone, I have never had anyone to walk by my side, I have never had someone to hold me when I would fall. I always had to gather myself, get up and start walking on my own, get going all over again keeping my fingers crossed anticipating it will all work out one day.

I was all I got which pretty much makes me the person I am turning out to be. Someone who doesn’t welcome even a minor favor, someone who gets uncomfortable at the mere thought of asking for help, someone who doesn’t trust easily, someone who is always looking for red flags, someone who can’t keep her guard down, someone who is terrified of her own occasional phases of vulnerability, someone who is afraid by the idea of coming out weak in front of a crowd, someone who is always struggling with emotions, someone who can’t let it all out!

Trust me or not, I want to let it all out. I was so busy fighting, surviving, moving ahead that I never stopped to notice when it all started going south. I wish I’d stopped for a while. 

Is it too late now? Is it too late for a fresh start? Do I still have time? Or have I lost it all?

Amidst all this perplexity of putting myself out there or keeping it all to my own, amidst all this hassle, I still try to hustle.

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