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When I parted ways with him and I was trying to recover, to heal, to get back to being who I was, to accept that he isn’t there anymore, for months I told my friends and myself as well that I know all the possible rational explanations to this not ending well, I know things would’ve never worked out, I know it wasn’t meant to be, I am a girl who never works without logic and I know this wasn’t logical at all, I know love brings out a completely different side of me but I also know that it would have never lasted. 

What actually was in my head was a screaming voice constantly questioning everyone and everything, whyyyyyyyyy? What I actually felt was pain, sometimes so intense that I could physically feel it hurting me. I couldn’t be myself, I felt so helpless and so weak that I didn’t even have the energy to ask for the aid. What I actually wanted was to find a way so that all of it can be undone and I could just run back to him, to my love.

I would go over the good times and the bad times, again and again, just to figure out where it all went wrong? How did it start falling apart? I had everything in control. Didn’t I? Was there something I could fix? Was there anything I could’ve done differently? I mean, how didn’t I see this coming? 

For a control freak and a long-sighted person like me, it is very normal to analyze all the possible outcomes and the risks involved while getting into a partnership. How did I so easily undersell the risks? How did I not realize getting my heart broken won’t be as easy and as recoverable as it’s portrayed in the movies? I wish I’d come to better conclusions back then. 

Well, for now, the only definite conclusion I could draw is - 

"However exciting the journey might seem to be but may you never cross paths with someone who’s not going to accompany you to your destination."
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