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Showing posts from October, 2021

THE BIG THINGS

I was always meant to do big things; I knew it in my heart. Everyone who knows me knew it. I was a studious kid all my life. And it wasn't like I was just book-smart; I was life-smart too. So the bar for me was raised higher than required, followed by a buttload of expectations. Sadly, I haven't made it big yet, and from how it's going, I don't know if I ever will. Plus, the expectations gradually shifting to disappointments don't help much. It's not very pleasant to go through this feeling; it is another level of existential crisis altogether. When people used to ask me what do I want to be, where do I see myself? I would say, "I'll be a CEO, nothing less; more is always welcome," and this wasn't too long ago. And now, I don't think I know what is my calling yet. Is what I am doing right now my true calling? Maybe a part of it is. Everyone kept telling me over the years that you'll know when you'll be good at it. Not to blow your o

POST-COVID FRIENDSHIPS

People often say, "your circle gets smaller with age". I neither understood nor ever believed in it because why? Isn't it's supposed to be the opposite? You grow up, move universities, move cities, move jobs, more moving, more people and more potential friends, right? And it was all going right for me, but then Covid happened. The world and the moving paused for a long while. It affected us in ways we had never imagined in our wildest of dreams. Lives changed, lifestyles changed, priorities changed, factors affecting our decisions changed, we changed. Covid not only took many a life but also took away our zeal to be alive, our zest to connect, and our spirit to stay in touch. It was all fine at the start, but eventually, it got so dark and gloomy that even these social media apps couldn't keep the social in us alive. I was a super-social being. Social to the point that it was annoying. 70% of my day pre-covid constituted of hanging out with friends, catching up wi

JUDGEMENTS AND MISJUDGMENTS

  One thing I will always hate about judgements and misjudgements is that there will be a few of them that will invariably have power over you, will rip your heart out time and again, and will make you question just about everything. You can preach all about growing up, moving on, having your life together, rising over the bullshit and yet you will give in.  I am sure we have all been there, I have been there, I am still there, I am somehow always there, living with it!  It makes me feel sick to the bone when I realise that all of our insecurities and fears originate from where we are supposed to feel most loved, secure and appreciated. The worst of it does not come from the outsiders. It comes from our own family, people who are close to us, people who are capable to sway us through their judgements and opinions. Why do we always fall short of things? Why nothing is enough? Why having a good heart isn’t enough, or why loving someone isn’t enough, or why trying your best isn’t enough,