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Showing posts from March, 2021
How badly I wish to indulge in something I see people around me in, how I wish I could get loved the way I see others getting loved, how hard could it be to believe that certain things take time or may actually never happen, how despairing is it to live with rejections, how arduous is it to change thyself when I know that the personality and aura I hold is really hard to love. But how do I even try changing when I am so crazily in love with the chemistry I have with myself. How do I trust this crazy go-round world which constantly tells me to be everything but me? How do I cage my racing heart which tells me to love what I have right now, be mad and wild, and be whatever I can be while I still have this little life? You either become what you decide for yourself or you follow what others decide or expect out of you. The break in the cloud is it’s you who gets to make a choice. Whatever you do, whatever you say doesn’t always have to be conventional. Life might be testing you but you do
I recently read somewhere, "what if we are eternally supposed to be sad, momentarily happy." It took me a minute to process this, my world nearly paused for a while. Do we ever think about when we were happy? When was the last time I was actually happy?  No, not I am on the trip happy, or I just got a new dress happy, or I had my favorite meal happy. Just happy, happy when something out of the ordinary was not happening. To my surprise, I couldn't recall anything like that in years. I thought I was doing fine, but turns out I wasn't. When all I have always wished for is happiness, it was pretty ironic that I wasn't feeling any of it in my recent present.  I don't know when life became so hard that little things that stir up your life, started slipping away. When did the sadness became eternal and happiness became volatile? When did we go from devil-may-care to adulting so hard that it left us anesthetized? When did we go from being supremely optimistic to clin
I aim for perfection, this is not just something I write in my CV, it's also a belief I have been leading my life with. I am as confident as one can get. I know what I want, I know how to get it and I have never been afraid to put it out there. The factors that render me confident may not all be ideal but it is what it is, how I am looking, how I am presenting myself, how I get down to things (remember, the aim is perfectionism) , how I am coming across people, how much I know about the subject I am going to talk about are a few of those. This is what I have given credence to for all of my existence (and I do not entirely blame myself). Imperfection is not a word you usually come across much. I heard it on Instagram someday a few years ago. I didn't pay much regard to it though. After all, society doesn't bestow us with concepts like embracing our imperfections. It was very late in life when I acknowledged the importance, well, to be honest, the NEED to embrace it. Because