Skip to main content



2020! Well, I am sure a lot of us will have to say a lot about this year or maybe nothing at all because why put efforts into summarising something that can be described in a single word - Nightmare!

But I am gonna do it regardless because that’s what I pretty much did this year to make a living (of course riding an emotional rollercoaster round the year does not pay well nor is counted as a full-time job).

Looking back at 2020, I am truly amazed by how a single year can turn around everything you believed in, everything you worked for, and everything you live for.


I cannot say that I experienced every emotion this year but the ones I did were pretty new and adequately intense. Love is ecstatic, heartbreaks are dark (also hurt like a bitch), depression is real, and well, betrayal is incessant.


Many of my close friends repeatedly brought to my notice that I changed this year. Somewhere, I know I did. A part of me didn’t want to, but a little part of me did. So, I did it anyway. And honestly, who didn’t change this year, the universe made sure that we undergo something we dread the most, the change!


2020 has been a lot of things for me, but one thing that stands out is 2020 being the biggest Eye-Opener! 

It brought my attention to the things that actually matter and which should have mattered through it all. 

For me, it all comes down to, well, ME because I FREAKING MATTER. I have always mattered and now when I had 3 whole quarters to spend with no one but myself, I realized how I am not replaceable, I am worth the fight, and I shouldn’t be given upon.


I might be lonelier now, but I am way more sound.

I might have less of life, but I feel way more alive.

I might not be social anymore, but I feel connected to myself as I have never before.


And for me, it all comes down to this...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

PATTERNs & MOs

  I have a friend who once told me about this theory of how we keep befriending or falling for people with identical qualities. It's like a pattern, a subconsciously identified comfort zone that we get lured by.  I gave quite a thought to this, much more than I usually do to something I generally hear. I got really lucky in the friendship department, so falling in the pattern is worth my while. I would happily do it over and over again.  But, when it comes to matters of heart, mmm, not so much! I just realised that the MO of the guys I get involved with is terrifying. (Switched to MO instead of patterns because it's criminal the number of times I have been hurt). It starts with them finding me somewhere on the internet. For the first month, they treat me like I put stars in the sky, pursue me as their world revolves around me, and practically force me to fantasise about a full-fledged life with them. Well, I am no less. My MO is over-sharing, a butt load of honesty, putting on
Post a Comment
Read more

Jack of Crisis, Masters of Denial

  Sinking in the sea of crisis, human-made, situational or self-induced. We aren't looking for solutions anymore. We aren't wasting time sulking. We are straight-up pushing it all to the deepest, darkest, rarely visited corners of our heads. After all, living in denial still counts for living, contrary to facing the feelings that leave you lifeless. We are eating, drinking, sleeping off or sleeping with the crisis. Pretending to be as unbothered while denying the fact that it burns like a gin and hurts like a bitch. Faking, hoping to make it. Skating through life while the fire within simmers only to erupt when least expected.
Post a Comment
Read more

Ah! The incomparable joy and comfort in the lonliness

  The joy of roaming around in an empty house in a robe with a glass of wine, The comfort of eating your favourite meal in a public space with your AirPods on, The joy of watching a movie and not getting prompted every minute,  The comfort of not having to talk to anyone after a long-long day of work, The subtle joy and comfort in knowing there isn't anyone for you to depend upon. If you shatter into a thousand pieces, no one is going to pick any fraction of it. I am now best friends with the void that scared the shit out of me. Chills run through my body when I spare a mere thought of how comfortable I have gotten in my own company. I don't know what or which particular experience it is that cut right through me. But whatever or whoever did it, they did me a favour. After it all, you are all you got.
Post a Comment
Read more