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Showing posts from October, 2020
It rained that night It rained like never before Maybe because it was not just me who was teary-eyed, Skies were too It was thundering and lightning  It was all so out of control  But nothing compared to the storm going inside of me Nothing compared to the turbulence I felt. The weather will be fine sooner or later,  Maybe I will be too  But it will rain again,  It will thunder again,  What will never come again is the warmth I felt,  The unconditional love I had and the little family I was a part of.  
  It’s okay to miss someone even when they are not a part of your life anymore. It’s okay to miss someone even when they left you all alone in a miserable state. It’s okay to miss someone even when they do not miss you back. You miss someone because at whatever time it may be, but it meant something to you. You were very deep and truly into it, you were living a totally different life, a life full of dreams, hopes, and a future together. And letting go of your good memories isn’t necessarily a choice you should be making. Rather grow up with the good in your heart, for it will peace out your soul. Do not turn your back on a part of your life that must have given you a lesson or two.  When people around you think otherwise, tell them to ‘Respect the Remembrance.’ Normalize not having to justify your behavior, your emotions, and your reactions all the time. They are all valid. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to matters of the heart.  Stop being so tough on yourself. Stop aski
My life hasn’t really been a bed of roses lately and it just came to my notice that how traumatizing it is to see people lose interest in you who literally comprised a major chunk of your routine! How perfect it seems when it all starts, those little butterflies, that tingly feeling, that checking your phone all day, that excitement, that entire rhythm of knowing each other leading to a path of discovery in multiple facets, deriving comfort in each other’s presence, beginning to be a part of each other’s life. Just when you start opening up, letting your guard down, forming that trust, hoping for something more, letting a person in, life starts acting up in its own way. You see them drifting away, slowly losing interest in you. You start feeling the change in the energy they possess leaving you all anxious and stressed about where did you mess it up now, where did it go wrong, did it ever at any point in time mean something to them, was it ever meant to be? It’s like the dream is over
Even the nicest ones have their limits! I have been reading this since what! 2007?  Whenever I’d read this I used to wonder how is it even possible? Do you suddenly just stop being nice?  Now I am not saying I am the nicest one and I’d never thought that there will ever come a time when I would have maxed my limits. Things have always had the power to bother me to an extent that I am frazzled. If the required reaction is 10, I’ll give it a 100! Over-doer AF! Not to forget my beloved meld of sleepless nights, endless stress, and shooting anxiety that follows. My impulse to always fix things with everyone, keep everyone close, put across a fight to the point there’s nothing left to fight for are a few of the contributing factors to my aforementioned prodrome. This is what I’ve been living with all my life and I’d never thought that I’ll be standing at the crossroad where I would just STOP caring. I WOULD STOP BEING NICE! I guess I just hit my saturation.  I still love people as I loved